Bless this age of television. I mean truly, grab your hands, put them together, and bow your heads in praise of this content avalanche. Without so many choices, we’d be up to our eyeballs in pretty young things. And if you’re like me, you do not watch anything to feel your age. I want to know when I turn on the TV, everyone is vaguely ten years older than me. It is entirely ...Read More

    I went ahead and stopped smoking. I decided I like buying trash more than wheezing at night. My kazoo breathing would send me into I’M A GONER panic attacks and I was convinced I’d never wake up again. I’d toss around like a baby seal caught in a net of terror palpitations. Now instead of hate sleeps I put the money I’d spend on cigarettes into an envelope labeled SEXY FUND and ...Read More

                          Jim Lo Scalzo/EPA When I arrived home in the wee hours of Wednesday morning after Donald Trump won the presidential election, but not the popular vote; all I heard was Whitney singing: Didn’t we almost have it all When love was all we had worth giving? The ride with you was worth the fall my friend Loving you makes life worth ...Read More

In my world, life is like a toilet paper roll — you either handle your shit like a baller or you wipe like a bitch. I am old, and my life is riddled with friendships I shouldn’t have spent two seconds trying to cultivate let alone years. Snap judgements are a thing I need now like oxygen. But the vast majority of judging is basic and unreliable, and also takes too much time. I ...Read More