Bad choices Archives

Why Did No One Tell Me Quitting Smoking Absolves All Bad Choices

Liz Bad choices, Latest November 8, 2018

I went ahead and stopped smoking. I decided I like buying trash more than wheezing at night. My kazoo breathing would send me into I’M A GONER panic attacks and I was convinced I’d never wake up again. I’d toss around like ...Read More

1 Comment

I Was Arrested And All I Could Think Was ‘I Hope This Shackle Belt Fits’

Liz Bad choices, Born to Lose, Latest July 22, 2016

“Hey, how are you?” That’s how I walk into my Father-in-Law’s house and greet him as he sits on the couch watching us arrive for a weekend visit with bags of things, me carting my always present laptop, the child already unpacking in her ...Read More

3 Comments

I Drive A Piece Of Shit, And I’m The Happiest I’ve Ever Been

Liz Bad choices, Born to Lose, Latest, Straight Outta Fucks May 26, 2016

There’s something fun about driving a bona fide piece of shit. Maybe it’s because I’ve watched too many movies. Like, when I’m driving my 1988 Buick Regal Custom with 60K miles that cost me $500, it’s like I’m channeling my inner Lebowski. If The ...Read More

1 Comment

Thin Needs Better PR Because I Can’t Even At The Gym

Liz Bad choices, Born to Lose, Latest, Straight Outta Fucks May 12, 2016

I’m not proud of this, but I spent about two weeks checking into the gym and then leaving. I straight up would go in, have the front desk clerk scan my card and then peace the fuck out. Why would I do such a ...Read More

0 Comment

Chocolate Chip Pop Tarts You Complete Me

Liz Bad choices, Latest, Super Good Fun April 23, 2016

Dear Chocolate Chip Pop Tarts: I love the shit out of you. Until I tasted your warm, chocolate goo that’s too cheap to be remotely related to Nutella, I’d smugly blow past you in the breakfast aisle. You make enjoying science food worth never ...Read More

0 Comment